For the first time in many weeks I opened my blog. I decided to look in my drafts to see if there were any posts I could work on. And then I saw it…. A post named False Starts. Perfect, I thought. I’d been having trouble thinking of things to write and this title seemed to sum it up. To my surprise when I opened the draft there was nothing there. Talk about False Starts!
So why write a post if you really have nothing to say? That’s actually something I continually struggle with and, as a result, I usually end up writing nothing. To me, this is a very peculiar thing. I can talk a blue streak, non-stop, not take a breath and never run out of things to say. So why is writing so different? Time for a little reflection here I think…
When we write we are committing our thoughts to “paper.” When we publish them on the internet, no matter if we delete them or not, they never really go away. So what am I afraid of? Are my thoughts not worthy? I don’t think I’m that insecure, but maybe I am. Why are some able to just let go and write while others, like me, continue to have false starts?
As my reflection continues I realize that putting my true thoughts on paper has never been something that I’ve been comfortable with. Many people I know journal and have suggested the same to me. Uhh…….No. There is absolutely no way I would even consider keeping a journal. Why? That continues to be the million dollar question. Somehow I have this fear that if anyone saw what truly goes on in my mind they would commit me to a mental institution. I might be exaggerating a little bit here but there is more truth than not truth in that statement.
So how does one overcome such an obstacle? I think the only answer is to just write. Let the words come, no matter what they might be. Let go of the fear, stop worrying what others think and just write. So much easier said than done…….
False Starts are everywhere in life and will never go away – it is part of the human condition. As members of the human race we will encounter them time and time again. I have come to the conclusion that it is not the False Starts that are the problem, it is our reaction to them. So from now on I will be kind to myself each time I have a False Start. I will remind myself that I am human and that I am allowed to be afraid at times. I will not stop trying. I will not give up. I will persevere!
The Optimistic Educator…